Thursday, December 11, 2008

Firsts

I've read that some people's reaction to the idea of adopting an older child is the disappointment not to be there for the kiddo's "firsts." First word, first step - and they're all great things and we celebrate them, but the truth is, kids need parents who are in it for the long haul and the celebrations, both. The firsts are important, but the real importance of them is that, when we have a "first," whatever age we are, that there be people around us to note the importance of it. It's a round about way of saying, there's always more to celebrate in a person's life.

So when we found the adoptuskids listing for Aya, Tala and Sarah, three sisters between the ages of 9 and 14, we weren't worried about what we'd missed. We wondered what had happened to deprive these beautiful girls of a permanent home. We knew that if they hadn't found their "forever family" by the time we have a real home (and not a teeny apartment in the city) to offer them, that we wanted them to be part of that real home. We tried to hope that they wouldn't have to wait another six months for us. And when Sarah's age suddenly turned 10, we marked it on a calendar (first birthday!)

Turns out, it's a whole different kind of first for us. Sometime in the last couple of days, the girls' listing was removed from adoptuskids. They're no longer waiting for a forever family, and we're happy for them. We're trying to just be happy for them.

It's about as hard as you might imagine.
Posted by jenniebee at 9:49 AM
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6 comments:

  1. johnDecember 22, 2008 at 5:33 PM

    hang in there. Its an exciting ride. We adopted older kids from the foster care system also.

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  2. cloudmasterDecember 22, 2008 at 6:50 PM

    I can assure you that you have no idea what you are getting into, but I am sure you will love every minute of it! We were lucky to have three children of our own and are now foster parents. There are so many kids out there looking for people like you to be their forever family. Good luck in your quest!!

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  3. Jeannie DavisDecember 22, 2008 at 6:54 PM

    Hi! This is great! I've been in contact with some who have already been fostering or even adopted but had been hoping to come across someone who was fairly new. You're not just fairly new, your at the same exact spot I am! I love it! I also started a blog and it's at http://jdavis34.wordpress.com/ Hoping you'll take a look at it! I also am receiving guidance through a worker at AdoptUSKids.org as well. They have been great and check in with about every three weeks or so and I also am moving June 1st of '09 and also have my Orientation January 8th and begin the PRIDE training classes on January 15th. We have got a number of similarities! Would you like to keep in touch as we're both working through the stages at the same time? Also, view my story http://jdavis34.wordpress.com/ Would love to hear from you!

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  4. Jeannie DavisDecember 22, 2008 at 7:16 PM

    I decided to copy the blog over to hear as well so you can choose either way to read it.

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  5. WillowDecember 22, 2008 at 9:36 PM

    I've been exactly there.

    We've seen one sibling group we were interested in be placed before we could be licensed, and it's possible the teen we think we would be a great match all around, will be placed before we're ready.

    You celebrate for the kids who have been placed, hope that it's truly permanent, and at the same time... It's hard not to wonder what your life could have been like with them.

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  6. AnonymousDecember 23, 2008 at 6:51 AM

    Hi Jenniebee,
    I found you through Yondalla and I just wanted to mention that sometimes kids are not listed on adoptuskids, but are still waiting. If you know what state they are in, you can try the state's specific site.
    My partner & I have three boys we adopted from foster care. They were all younger when they joined us (less than 18mo) and none of them had been listed on the waiting kids sites. We were not matched with any of the kids we saw on those sites that we thought might be good fit for our family.
    I'm looking forward to following your journey. Good luck.
    Julie

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